DREAMS
by Zed Hopkins
Dreams is an ode to the last four years of my life, a space where my memories, regrets, fears and gratitude collide in the hope of finding peace with the past. Using found footage from some of my fondest memories the film weaves together a surreal exposé that chases clarity in a world filled with chaos. Quite simply this film questions our modes of processing and ponders the space between reality and the subconscious.
A surreal dream lulls me to sleep nowadays
like a lullaby of memories cascading down waterfalls like mind-made movies
I’ve longed for my life to be cinema worthy
seeing every moment as a scripted image
Imagining what it would be like to be captured
thrusted into the lens and projected across the night’s sky
And now finally I am captured,
trapped in the confines of a self-made camera
The lens so close it can barely can see anything
nothing but the minute details of my skin, the shattered glass behind my eyes
My past feels like a time-lapse and yet this moment falls upon my chest in slow motion
I can’t tell if it’s real or not.
Does it matter?
Will it matter?
I can’t tell if it’s real or not..
Time rarely slows these days
the tapping of information cracking holes in my forehead
penetrating the frontal lobe of my perception
hitching a ride down the occipital vein
into my chest
my grasp of language still too elementary
for the feelings that it prompts
And so my blood vessels boil, the steam with nowhere to go
builds up, hot to the touch
but my minds learned not to burn itself
just like my body’s learned not to see itself
Where am I?
Where am I going?
I still I can’t tell if it’s real or not..
Sometimes I feel as if the earth is spinning some 17 times faster
As if the centrifugal force of existence overthrows my handle on gravity
and I’m hurled through life like a dislodged star
not shooting but falling,
caught in the currents of fictitious fantasies
chasing some pre-scripted future like a caricature of myself
self-isolated and unoriginal
longing for the sweet kiss of conformity
and yet the further I fall the more I long for the ground
I dream of it sweeping me up off my feet and spinning me around
like some cinematic romance
where everything’s solved,
perfectly packaged and bowtied
where there’s no more questions and all the answers
I can’t tell if it’s real or not..
If I really miss the past or I’m just scared of the future
I wonder what I feel
I wonder What’s next..
I wonder if we’ll find the answers we’re looking for
I wonder..
I wonder…